Mornings are my bliss.
I know I've told you this before, but I wake up at 5 am every morning. I don't do it because it takes me long to get ready (I'm down to like 20 minutes!), but because it takes time to prepare my heart for the day.
Even still, I've noticed the moment I wake up I start feeling the pressure of time.
The pressure feels somewhat like I start the day in a decent-sized room. With each minute ticking by, the walls get closer and closer until it's time for my head to hit the pillow and the walls are at my shoulders--only to reset the next day.
There's not enough.
It's always working against me.
The technical term for this is "scarcity mindset," but it goes much deeper than that.
When those walls hit my shoulders at the end of the day, I can't help but feel under-accomplished. No matter what I did that day, it wasn't enough. Start over tomorrow. Do better tomorrow.
Emily reflected on a phrase from Shauna Niequist, "You can connect or compare, but you can't do both." This was the same concept that stuck with me from Shauna's podcast interview with Jen Hatmaker, "ONLY CONNECT." Shauna identified this as one of her mantras in life.
As Emily explored what keeps us from connecting with others, I kept thinking, it's usually less about what they're doing, and more about my own flawed vision of myself.
Then, she dropped this truth bomb:
"Finally, how might your own self-image shift if you chose to identify with and connect to your true self rather than your fake self?
Could it be possible that the person you're competing with most is some idealized version of you that you can never live up to?"
And then, the gut check:
"Would you be willing to set her free?"
Could it be that my fear of time is not a fear of time itself, but a fear that I won't become that idealized version of myself in the amount of time I have?
What would it take to set that idealized version of yourself free?
Though I wish it could happen in a split second, like accidentally bumping into a balloon guy, his grip loosens, and the entire bumble of balloons is set free.
I wish it were that simple. Instead, I think it will be more like making small decisions each day to remind myself...
I'm already covered.
There's NOTHING I can do to make God love me more.
The world defines success and enough in entirely opposite ways than my Maker does.
So, just choose today. Set yourself free from the have-to's and should's and live-up-to's of Monday. Choose to step forward in simplicity, faithfulness, and confidence rather than striving, achievement, and worth-grabbing.
What false vision of self is your source of the most comparison? Let her go.