...they happen in that order. That's right. Sneezing, then friends, not the other way around.
Or do they?
Do you think I should call them first?
Should I ask them to lunch, or just go in there?
I had a good time, but I wonder if they did?
Are they just being nice because they feel sorry for me, or do they actually think I'm cool?
Making friends often feels like going out on a date. You don't want to bare too much of your soul before you know if someone actually enjoys your company. Oh, what's that? Making friends doesn't make you anxious, it just happens? Well, that's fantastic for you.
Truth, is, I've never been great at making friends in a non-awkward way. Most of my closest friends have found my stutter-filled, blushing-faced attempts at camaraderie to be endearing--at least eventually.
College makes it so easy to make friends. Why, might you ask? Proximity. It doesn't matter what day it is, you will be around people. You bump into them at coffee shops, in the library, on the way to class. You have a treasure-trove of people at your feet that are in a similar stage of life as you, and at least are attempting to make a future for themselves (maybe).
Moving to a new city is difficult, but being in an adult job is even harder. It seems so difficult to find like-minded friends (LMF's, as Shana called them). There is no concentrated age group of colleagues, there's no guarantee that you will click. I jumped at the chance to start writing with Three Teachers Talk because of this like-mindedness, but I never imagined to find such "bosom friends" or "kindred spirits" who unfortunately are miles, or even states away.
We were talking in our group chat the other day about friends, and I mentioned there was something about having friends close enough to accidentally sneeze on that just cements you together.
I thought of my former Sneezy Friends, who are no longer close enough in that regard. Would we have become so close, had we not been so close in proximity?
Then, I thought of my friends who have never been geographically close, like Beka, or now Shana, Lisa, or Amy. Are these friends any less of friends because of distance?
Then I think of my current friends who are close in proximity. Have I sneezed on any of them yet? I don't think so. Have I cried in their classrooms? Maybe (Yes). Have I let them see my apartment without throwing everything in the closet? Probably not.
I'm trying to let go and let people get close, because this new place isn't quite so new anymore.
I think it's time to let the awkwardness out and let some people find me endearing. Or not.