I turned 25 on Friday. A quarter of a century old, and I've got the wrinkles to show for it.
Just kidding. But I do have the chore-filled weekends and inability to stay up past 9 pm to show for it.
Question: When does one start to actually feel like an adult instead of just feeling like a little kid dressed as an adult, always mere seconds away from tripping over your too-big shoes, and everyone finding out?
Just me? Cool.
As I sat in my quiet time with the Lord on Friday, I thanked him that my birthday FINALLY fell on a weekend, and then a thought came to mind. I hesitated to write it down because it sounded totally cliche, but here it is:
The older I get, the more I realize just how much I don't know.
To be honest, when I was 20 and picturing my life as a 25-year-old, it looked nothing like this. I saw pencil skirts (which look extremely tragic on me) and fierce heels (Hello, have you met my Birks?) in my future of conquering the world of words as a writer and/or editor.
I never, ever, in a million years thought I would be trying to convince somewhat-impossible teenagers that reading and writing matters at all.
I never thought God would steer me toward a job that would shatter me into so many pieces.
I also never thought my bravery--of which I boasted for the majority of my life--was not actually bravery, but simply actions tied to what I could control. I never thought when that control was taken away--seemingly wielded by everyone BUT me--that I would turn out to be quite a coward, shrinking back into the safety of inaction whenever I got the chance.
I think my 20's have been God trying to teach me weakness. That's where his power is made perfect. I've known this since Awana when I was five. However, if we're so busy covering up our weakness--the Already--with masks, and achievements, and effort, we forget who we were in the first place. In pushing me to embrace my weakness, my current stage is chipping away of all the masks that I thought to truly be me. Before you can embrace something, you have to know what it looks like so that you can wrap your arms around it when it surfaces.
So, tell me: How are you learning to embrace your weakness?